I FAILED TO HOLD MY TEARS..

yday is the worst day of my school days.. worst than my primary, worst than my st teresa days, worst than lower 6 times.. today, as i remember, was my first time crying in the school, in front of many teachers, in front of many students.. it was such an embarassing thing.. i used to keep controlling myself from crying in school.. no matter how sad it is, or how painful it is, i still tried to hold back my tears cos i know people will give you one kind of look, the look of curiosity, they must be thinking, why is this girl crying? well, when a person cry, is usually over sad things.. if it were happy things, they'll be crying with joy, with smile.. so, those who reading this post, must be guessing, what's going on? what happened? all this kind of questions, are normally pop up in their mind when they see people crying.. and usually, they'd like to know what happened.. but i guess most of you who're reading my blog now know what had happened, cos most of you are my school friends..

it all started on monday afternoon, after school we changed our clothes, and went to tHe Spring for lunch before waiting for the time to pass for the sports training.. usually, it'd be Brian who's driving.. and recently too, he keep driving us out for lunch.. so, i was thinking, probably this time i'll be the one driving.. dont make him drive everytime rite? i wanted to get my sis the Big Apple Donuts too, thats why, i wanted to go there for lunch.. since she's been keep telling me how she wanted to eat the donuts.. so, i was thinking of giving her a surprise by sending those donuts to her office after lunch.. but well, sorry to say that i no longer have the mood to do so after what had happened.. while on the way to tHe Spring, i drove through summer house road, going down to the round-about.. and there's a heavy jam ahead.. till the round-about.. there's a waja there, middle of the road, almost blocking driver's way from the other side.. so i canot stop behind her as i'll be blocking the way, so i stop next to her instead to wait for the exit to clear.. i was on the right, near the edge of road already.. well, this lady, i didnt know she was a teacher at first.. so when the exit is clear, she could just simply turn to the left abit and move forward, and i'll be following her from the back.. but she didnt.. as the exit is clear, she started to move, so did i.. i thought she'd give way to me as i was on the edge already.. but nope, she ground me to the edge of road till i could not move anymore and gave me a hon instead.. oh well, guess i made a mistake and drove wrongly.. as she hon me, i stopped and raise my hand as a sign to say sorry to her.. but she seems like not forgiving me and fiercely took off her shade and keep pointing and scolding me in her car.. i dont know what is she scolding though.. she didnt even wind down her window.. that time i had lynn and brian with me.. then lynn told me she looks familiar, she could be our school teacher.. but i said nvm, cos we're out of school, she's not suppose to bring this matter to school..

but the next morning, early morning all those prefects heard about the news.. that teacher really brought this matter to school.. she even report this case to our school's PK Hem (in charge of student's affair one). so, like i expected, she wanted to see me during reccess, fine, i went. i told myself to be more polite no matter how angry i am cos im in school that time, and this might affect my discipline record or reputation.. but, as i see her, standing in front of her.. her bullets start to shoot non stop.. she keep scolding and scolding.. in front of every teachers.. all the teachers were standing there to watch the show.. i thought she jus wanted to give me advice about my driving attitude.. but nope.. i asked her.. why did she bring this to school.. she even deny about it, by right she had already report this case to our PK Hem early morning.. that was still fine.. im still fine with it and i did fight back to defend for myself.. as i know, i wasnt totally wrong.. she's jus like a mad b*tch that keeps barking around.. until she started to curse me.. this sentence i would remember for my whole life.. she said, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE DRIVE LIKE THIS, YOU'LL GET INTO ACCIDENT IN THIS 2 OR 3 DAYS FOR SURE!! I CURSE YOU THAT YOU'LL GET INTO ACCIDENT!!" that was when my tears started to flow down my cheek.. the very first thought i had was, my parents brought me to this world is not for you to curse like that.. you're not the one to decide when i'm going to leave this world, its God who decide all this.. i said, "are you treatening me?" she said, "NO, IM NOT! IM CURSING YOU!" she even said, she wont know when will i get into accident, but God will decide when.. i was thinking.. what i did was just minor mistakes.. why would you say me till like this.. if for such a small mistakes i did will get such a big punishment.. what about her? what kind of punishment will she get for cursing a student as a teacher.. aint teacher suppose to set good example to the students? why are students always the one used as escape goats of the teachers? even if the teachers are under stress, they're not suppose to release all their stress on students.. they're human, we students are human too.. and when i was fighting back for my right.. there's one of the teachers that are watching scolded me.. she said, "GIRLS! PLEASE DONT BE SO RUDE WHEN TALKING TO THE TEACHERS" omg please.. why should i respect a teacher that dont even respect me.. and i reconise the teacher that scolded me too.. i remember i always greeted her when i see her.. but she just walk pass by me without greeting back.. not even a smile.. so.. why should i respect them? when i was crying.. the teacher that was barking around jus now scolded me once again.. she said, "WHAT FOR CRY? YOU THOUGHT YOU'RE SO SAD IS IT?" i wonder her heart is made of what..

after that, our PK hem wanted to see me.. not for any discipline actions.. she's just, advicing me and talk properly to me that to be careful when driving and give way to teacher if i know they're one.. talking to PK Hem was ok.. she's very understanding.. so i felt more relax and i told her everything about how the teacher scolded and cursed me.. she said she's understand and will talk to her later on.. i hope she'll do it though..

in fact, i have the right to complain about that teacher.. i could even bring this case to court.. there's few reasons..

1. she brought personal problems to school

2. she's abusing her right as a teacher to get rid of her personal problems

3. she never respect her students as a student

4. she as a teacher cursed a student in school, in front of all the teachers

5. she lied, she said she never brought this case to school but in fact she reported it to PK Hem early morning

but.. my mom told me that.. she curse me nevermind.. God will know how to punish them one day.. they'll get back what they said.. what they curse.. so as a Christian, i just forgive her for once.. just like how God always forgive our sins.. although i got a lil insecure feelings after being cursed by her.. and i barely can concentrate in driving.. but after i prayed and seek for God's help.. today im back to my normal one again.. praise the Lord.. Amen..

and about the parking space's issue in school.. all the teachers are pointing their naked finger at us, U6A for taking teacher's parking slot till they dont have the enough place to park.. by right from the beginning we were told that space would be mean for students.. but recently there's an increase of new teachers in school and more teachers are driving to school.. so they put all the blame on the students.. so what we did was we gang up and dont park at that place anymore.. we park other place instead, to show that we're angry at those teachers.. there's one teacher who always come very late and usually park at the blocking place.. usually, she'd give the reason that no more parking space left.. but today, there's so many parking space there but still, she's parking at the blocking way.. those teachers are really.. using the students, prefects especially, as their escape goats of everything.. and to release their stress.. teacher's mouth is really.. more stinks than skunk's tail.. more stinks than the rubbish bin.. i dont know why they likes to spread rumours so much.. is that what they normally do when they do not enter the class? too free is it? why not mark their student's homework?

after this incident, personally, i've lost interest in that school.. i've lost interest to go to school.. no longer likes those teachers.. and it seems like there's no point of going to school.. now, there's only 4 teachers that i'd respect, that is Pn Lye, Mdm Wong, Pn Noryana and Mr Chong.. as for other teacher, it would be Mr Lim and Pn Liew.. the rest.. i can see and can sense that they dont treat every single students equally.. they are more siding their colleuges, those junk teachers.. every morning, i woke up.. i was thinking.. "sian, its school day again.." how i wish i could faster finish this form 6, take a long break and start with a new life at other place.. everyday going to the same school, seeing the same teacher that i dont like.. is really sickening..