The place where you call HOME

Now.. What does Home means? People always say, home sweet home. Does home really that sweet? It's sweet even though there's no understanding in it? I want to know too. As what I said in my last post.. it seems like no one understand me in this place where I called home. I thought my mom understands me the most. But guess I was wrong.

I once told my bro about problems and conflicts that I am having back here at home. Then I told him, everything will be okay when mom's back. I will talk to mom about my problems when she's back. Guess I was wrong again. I tried to talk to her about it. She either ignored.. or she is siding another one. So, don't blame me if I'll be quiet and ignore everything here at home. I'll just keep quiet and won't share a single thing to you guys even if you ask. I don't bother to tell anymore. What's the point to tell right? When you tell and all you get is ignorance.

For a moment I thought, was it the right decision for me to stay here in Kuching and to study in Swinburne? It's not that I don't like Swinburne, but ask me to stay in Kuching.. I kind of don't want anymore. Suddenly I just feel like going away. Far away from home. My heart shrunk when my mom said this, this morning. She said..,

"I stay in KL much nicer. I don't need to clean the house. I don't need to help you all do work. Don't need to help to keep your things. Everyday can sleep until 7 a.m."

Thoughts were running in my mind that time. I don't want to answer her anything. I just think that..

"Yeah yeah. KL the best. Move and stay there ba.. And the things you're keeping while complaining was my sis' one. Not mine. The one who mess the house wasn't me too. Go and tell your other daughter. Don't tell me. No point telling me. In the end you will still be siding her. Not me. I won't have any previlege from listening to your complain about her.."

At a certain stage that I thought.. being alone is sometimes.. better? Now I understand why Lynn wanted to go away from home. Freedom. The freedom to do anything. The freedom to say anything. Am I right..? Oh well.. That's my life. It's been 5 weeks that I'm alone. Do everything on my own. And now I have to listen to people's comment.. Comment.. That's a nicer way to say. Worst one would be NAG! Maybe all I need to do is just.. GET USED TO IT SOON!